Tuesday, February 17, 2009

"Thanks a latte..."

After a long weekend of boozing and wontoning, Jaime and Kelvin teamed up with Beck-Kay for a night of alcohol free debauchery. But as Williamsburg is rich in wifi-accessible watering holes, is there just a plain coffee shop? Or do they only exist in Manhattan and episodes of Friends? Where do the prude-ass kids hang?

Well, the WONTONanators somehow avoided the duds and landed amongst the prude-elite! Instead of hiding their noses in pages of Nietzsche, these caffeine addicts modeled their MacBooks with style, scones and macchiatos in hand.

1. Boneshakers
134 Kingsland Ave., Brooklyn NY 11211

Boneshakers, proudly “established in 2008”, lines the Brooklyn Queens Expressway with its' fixie pixie bike-punk aesthetic. An eclectic mix of thrash and prog (ie. Mars Volta) plays on the speakers while you sip your coffee in a mug (outrageously prices at $1). To-go cups are more expensive and reflective of an environmentally conscious Boneshakers. Menus are hand-drawn (by Megan) as a map to vegan culinary explosions of flavors catering to a gaggle of be-speckled kids studying for their MCATs. Vegan and vegetarian sandwiches, salads and pastrilicious baked goods are aptly named like "The Rebel Cruiser" ($7.50) made with BBQ seitan and coleslaw. This Kaiser filled sandwich was perfectly sweet and messy as all good BBQ should be! The coleslaw was prepared in the traditional down South way…with Vegenase, of course! You can judge a sandwich by its' name leading us to "The Makeout Party" ($6.50), but the flavors were more like a party of one with the bold spiciness slathered on a well seasoned tofu slice. A tasty mint chocolate morsel found itself to our table in the form of a cupcake! In our ventures, this junior mint inspired pastry ($2.50) was decadent yet balanced with chocolate cake and unique mint flavored icing! Roll into this bike lover's haven for proof that vegan cuisine chooses to avoid animal byproducts but NOT flavor!

INFO: "cash money only, yo!", Vegan friendly, Free Wifi w/ password


1. Cho's Variety Cafe

368 Graham Ave., Brooklyn NY 11211

Don’t let the industrial tin roof fool you! You are not in Buschwick, nor is Variety anything but warm and comforting. Metallic stools and charming patio furniture line the front of the café to accommodate solo coffee consumers, but if you’re a more social denizen of Graham Avenue, head to the back with the chandelier lit parlor, where Cho’s sophisticated blend of antique and modern design becomes truly realized. Screw the décor blend, what about the coffee blend?! Even after four cups of coffee, the WONTONanators were ready to get our “espressON”! Smooth and frothy with the foam being a bit bubbly, macchiatos match the vibrant personalities of your local barista (even right before Cho’s was about to close!). Music played mellow and relaxing for us to really take the edge off our weekend. This is a truly appealing wifi hotspot, so grab an aluminum seat and flash your intellect to impress your astute countermates but hold the side of pretentiousness. Maybe you’ll get lucky enough to share a fudgy chocolate cookie with…. an adorable Variety Barista.

INFO: Cash only, Free Wifi, Organic Milk Only


With caffeine doing it's own Spanish Bull Run through our veins, the WONTONanators settled in with our favorite beverage..... a beer at Harefield Road (769 Metropolitan Ave.). When the coffee stops flowing, you can sign into Harefield's WIFI and show everyone once and for all, "I am NOT a prude! I'm a drunk!" Salute!

Meet Becky "Beck-KAY" Kazansky,
WONTONanator Contributor. A lioness hungry for culinary goodness!

WONTONanator Jaime is a sophisticate amongst the denizens of Cho's Variety Cafe.

Jaime: I'm not friends with deformed people. I've had that rule since I was five." in reference to Kelvin's one-eyed dirty yellow hat cyclops impression at Harefield Road.

The supremely spicy "Makeout Party" accompanied by a $1 mug of delicious Boneshaker's coffee.

Stick Person #1: I got you a present.

Stick Person #1: It is coffee.

Stick Person #2: Thanks a Latte.

1 comment:

  1. Good sleuthing guys. Thanks a latte. Perhaps there's a murder mystery themed wonton out there?